Perfect turn-taking is a myth.

Real conversations don’t work like written dialogue usually looks:

A: "I went to the store."
B: "What did you buy?"
A: "Milk and bread."

Real conversations are messier:

A: "I went to the store and—"
B: "Did you get the milk?"
A: "I was about to—yeah, I got—"
B: "Because last time you forgot and—"
A: "I got it! I got the milk."

Real speech includes:

  • Interruptions
  • Overlapping dialogue
  • Pauses and silence
  • Trailing off
  • Verbal stumbling

And incorporating these patterns makes dialogue feel authentic.

Why Perfect Dialogue Feels Fake

Standard written dialogue follows rules that real speech violates constantly:

Written convention:

  • One person speaks completely
  • The other responds after they finish
  • Thoughts are complete and articulated
  • No filler words or false starts

Actual human speech:

  • People interrupt themselves and others
  • Multiple people speak at once
  • Thoughts emerge incomplete or change mid-sentence
  • Full of “um,” “like,” “you know,” pauses

The disconnect: When every line is perfectly formed and alternated, our brains recognize the artificiality—even if we can’t consciously identify why.

The solution: Strategic use of silence, interruption, and overlap to create the illusion of real speech.

The Power of Silence

Silence is not the absence of dialogue—it’s a form of dialogue.

What Silence Can Mean:

1. Processing/Shock Character needs time to absorb information.

Example:

"I'm pregnant."
[Long pause]
"...Oh."

The pause does the emotional work. It shows the magnitude of the news.

2. Refusal to Answer Silence as active choice—withholding information or avoiding vulnerability.

Example:

"Where were you last night?"
[Silence]
"You're not going to answer me?"
"I just did."

The silence IS the answer: “I won’t tell you.”

3. Emotional Weight Some things are too big for immediate words.

Example:

"I loved him."
[Pause]
"I know."

The pause acknowledges the grief, gives it space.

4. Tension Building Silence before a revelation or confrontation increases anticipation.

Example:

Detective stares at suspect.
[Long silence]
Suspect: "What?"
[More silence]
Suspect: "I didn't do anything!"

The silence applies pressure without words.

5. Intimacy Comfortable silence between people who don’t need to fill every moment.

Example:

They sit on the porch.
[Long pause]
"This is nice."
"Yeah."
[Pause]

The silence shows their comfort with each other.

How to Write Silence

In prose:

  • Describe what happens during silence: physical actions, observations, internal thoughts
  • Use paragraph breaks to create temporal space
  • Indicate duration: “Long pause,” “A beat,” “Silence”

Example:

"Do you love me?"
He looked at his hands. The clock on the wall ticked. Somewhere down the hall, a door closed.
"I don't know how to answer that."

The description makes the pause felt.

In screenplay format:

  • Use parenthetical: (long beat), (pause)
  • Use action lines between dialogue
  • Trust actors and directors to find the silence

Example:

SARAH
Do you love me?

John studies his coffee. The silence stretches.

JOHN
I don't know how to answer that.

The Art of Interruption

Interruption reveals:

  • Power dynamics
  • Urgency
  • Disrespect or intimacy (context-dependent)
  • Emotional intensity

Types of Interruption:

1. Dominant Interruption Higher-status person cuts off lower-status.

Example:

ASSISTANT: "The report shows—"
BOSS: "I don't care about the report. Where are the numbers?"

Shows: Boss’s authority, dismissiveness, impatience.

2. Urgent Interruption Emergency overrides social niceties.

Example:

A: "As I was saying, the presentation—"
B: "Fire alarm! Everyone out!"

Shows: Priorities shifting, stakes elevating.

3. Emotional Interruption Can’t wait to speak—feelings override self-control.

Example:

A: "I know you think—"
B: "You have no idea what I think!"

Shows: B’s frustration, that A’s assumptions are wrong.

4. Collaborative Interruption Finishing each other’s thoughts (intimacy or shared expertise).

Example:

A: "We need to check the—"
B: "—the backup generator. Already on it."

Shows: They’re in sync, experienced team.

5. Defensive Interruption Cutting someone off to avoid what they’re about to say.

Example:

A: "I know what you're going to—"
B: "Then don't say it."

Shows: B knows and fears what’s coming.

How to Write Interruptions

Standard notation: the em-dash (—)

The interrupted speaker:

"I was going to tell you, but—"

Em-dash shows they’re cut off.

The interrupter:

"—I don't want to hear excuses."

Opening em-dash (optional) shows they’re interrupting.

In prose, you can add narration:

"I was going to tell you, but—"
"I don't want excuses," John said, his voice sharp.

Key: Make sure the interruption feels motivated, not arbitrary. Readers should understand why the character couldn’t wait.

Overlapping Dialogue

Multiple people speaking at once—chaos, realism, or both.

When to Use Overlapping Dialogue:

1. Arguments/Heated Discussions When people stop listening to each other.

Example:

A: "You never listen to—"
B: "I'm listening right now!"
C: "Both of you, please—"
A: "—me, you just hear what you want—"
B: "That's rich coming from—"

Shows: Breakdown of communication, escalating tension.

2. Ensemble Reactions Group responds simultaneously to revelation.

Example:

DETECTIVE: "The killer is in this room."
[Everyone starts talking at once]
VARIOUS VOICES: "That's insane—" "It can't be—" "Who—" "I knew it—"

Shows: Collective shock, chaos.

3. Realism in Group Scenes Large gatherings don’t have perfect turn-taking.

Example: Family dinner

Multiple conversations overlap:
Table 1: "—pass the salt—"
Table 2: "I heard she's getting married—"
Table 1: "Did you see the game—"
Table 2: "—to that lawyer from—"

Shows: Authentic group dynamics.

How to Write Overlapping Dialogue

In prose: Multiple approaches

Option 1: Describe it happening

Everyone spoke at once—accusations, denials, questions piling on top of each other until the words became indistinguishable.

Option 2: Layer fragments

"I didn't—"
"—you always—"
"—that's not fair—"
"—listen to me—"
Nobody was listening.

Option 3: Alternate rapidly

A: "You said—"
B: "I never—"
A: "—you promised—"
B: "—that's not what—"

In screenwriting:

SARAH AND TOM
(simultaneously)
I can't believe—/How could you—

Or:

Their words collide, neither willing to yield.

The challenge: Overlapping dialogue is harder to read on the page than to watch/hear. Use sparingly, and make sure the reader can follow who’s saying what—or indicate it’s intentional chaos.

Trailing Off: The Unfinished Thought

People don’t always complete sentences—especially when:

  • Emotion overwhelms
  • They realize they shouldn’t say it
  • The listener already understands
  • They lose the thread
  • They’re interrupted (by thought or event)

The Ellipsis (…)

Indicates trailing off or fading out.

Example:

"I thought maybe we could..."
[She looks away]

Shows: Can’t finish the request—too vulnerable, or expects rejection.

Vs. the em-dash (—) which indicates interruption:

"I thought maybe we could—"
"No."

Shows: Cut off by another speaker.

Uses of Trailing Off:

1. Emotional Overwhelm

"I just... I can't..."

Character can’t articulate feelings.

2. Implicit Understanding

"If he finds out..."
"He won't."

Both know the consequences; no need to state them.

3. Shifting Thought

"We could try the back door, or maybe... wait, what's that sound?"

Thought interrupted by new stimulus.

4. Social Discomfort

"I was wondering if you might want to... I mean, no pressure, but..."

Shows nervousness, fear of rejection.

5. Menace

"It would be unfortunate if something happened to your family..."

Trailing off makes threat more ominous—imagination fills the gap.

Verbal Stumbling and Filler

Real speech includes:

  • Um, uh, er
  • Like, you know, I mean
  • False starts (“I—well, I mean—what I’m trying to say is…”)

When to include these:

1. Characterization

Habitual speech patterns distinguish characters.

  • Nervous character: “Um, I was, uh, thinking maybe…”
  • Valley Girl stereotype: “I was, like, totally shocked, you know?”
  • Hesitant intellectual: “Well, that’s… one could argue… it’s complicated.”

2. Emotional State

Normally articulate character suddenly stumbles when stressed/nervous.

Example:

USUALLY CONFIDENT CHARACTER: "I—Look, I don't—This is harder than I thought."

The stumbling shows their emotional state.

3. Thinking Out Loud

Working through a problem in real time.

Example:

"So if we assume... no, wait, that doesn't... unless... okay, what if we..."

Shows the thinking process, not just conclusions.

When to AVOID Filler:

Most of the time.

Why: Written dialogue is already a compression of real speech. Too much filler makes it tedious to read.

The rule: Use filler strategically for character or emotional effect, not as default.

Compare:

Too much filler (exhausting):

"Um, so, like, I was, you know, thinking that maybe, uh, we could, like, try the, um, restaurant?"

Strategic filler (characterization):

"I was thinking we could—um, if you want—try that new restaurant?"

The second preserves the nervousness without drowning the line.

The Rhythm of Real Speech

Perfect dialogue: Metronomic. A speaks, B speaks, A speaks, B speaks.

Real dialogue: Syncopated. A speaks, [pause], B speaks, A interrupts, [silence], B speaks, they overlap.

Think of dialogue as music:

  • Silence = rest
  • Interruption = unexpected accent
  • Overlap = dissonance/harmony (depending on context)
  • Trailing off = diminuendo
  • Filler = grace notes

The variety creates rhythm that feels alive.

Common Mistakes

Mistake 1: Overusing Interruptions

If every line is interrupted, it’s exhausting and hard to follow.

The fix: Reserve interruptions for moments of:

  • High emotion
  • Urgency
  • Power assertion
  • Intimacy (completing thoughts)

Between these moments, let characters finish.

Mistake 2: Unmarked Interruptions

Bad:

A: "I think we should"
B: "No."

Is A interrupted, or did they just stop?

The fix: Use the em-dash to signal interruption clearly.

A: "I think we should—"
B: "No."

Now it’s clear B cut them off.

Mistake 3: Silence with No Purpose

Bad:

"Want coffee?"
[Pause]
"Sure."

Why the pause? Unless there’s subtext (hesitation, distraction, hidden meaning), it’s dead space.

The fix: Silence should mean something. Cut purposeless pauses.

Mistake 4: Filler That Becomes Verbal Tic

Bad:

Every character says "like" constantly:
"I was like, let's go, and he was like, no way."

Unless you’re making a point about age/culture, this is lazy.

The fix: Differentiate characters. One uses “um,” another says “you know,” another is unnaturally articulate (which is also characterization).

Mistake 5: Overlapping Dialogue That’s Incomprehensible

Bad:

A: "asdfjkl—"
B: "qwerty—"
C: "zxcvbn—"

We have no idea what anyone’s saying.

The fix: Either:

  1. Make key words legible even in overlap
  2. Describe the chaos rather than trying to render it verbatim

Better:

They all spoke at once—accusations and denials colliding into noise. John's voice rose above the rest: "Enough!"

Silence, Interruption, and Overlap Across Media

Prose Fiction

  • Most freedom to describe what happens during silence
  • Can use internal monologue to show character processing during pauses
  • Rhythm created through paragraph breaks and sentence length

Screenwriting

  • Trust actors/directors to find silence and timing
  • Use sparingly in dialogue—notation like (beat) or (long pause)
  • Overlap harder to script; often discovered in performance

Theater

  • Silence is real-time; audience experiences every second
  • Powerful tool—but long silences require actors to fill them with behavior
  • Harold Pinter: master of theatrical silence (see: “Pinter pause”)

Audio (Podcasts, Radio Drama)

  • Silence is especially powerful—forces listener to focus
  • But too much silence in audio-only medium can feel like technical error
  • Overlap can confuse without visual cues (needs careful sound design)

Case Study: David Mamet’s Overlapping Dialogue

Mamet’s plays (like Glengarry Glen Ross) famously use:

  • Rapid interruptions
  • Incomplete sentences
  • Overlapping speech
  • Aggressive verbal rhythms

Example:

LEVENE: "John, John—"
WILLIAMSON: "You're going to have to wait—"
LEVENE: "—I need to talk to you—"
WILLIAMSON: "—I'm busy—"
LEVENE: "—just five minutes—"

Effect: Creates urgency, aggression, desperation. The overlapping dialogue enacts the cutthroat sales environment—everyone fighting to be heard.

Lesson: Form matches content. The dialogue style reinforces theme.

Case Study: Pinter Pause

Harold Pinter’s plays use silence as weapon and revelation.

Example structure:

A: "You were out late."
[Pause]
B: "Yes."
[Pause]
A: "Where did you go?"
[Pause]

The pauses create:

  • Menace (what’s not being said?)
  • Power struggle (who will fill the silence?)
  • Subtext (the real conversation is in what they’re not saying)

Lesson: Silence can be more powerful than speech when loaded with subtext.

Practical Exercise: Rewrite with Rhythm

Original (perfect turn-taking):

A: "We need to talk about what happened."
B: "I know."
A: "I'm not sure you do."
B: "Then explain it to me."

Version 2 (with interruption):

A: "We need to talk about—"
B: "I know."
A: "I'm not sure you—"
B: "Then explain it."

Shows: B is defensive, cutting A off, not letting them finish accusations.

Version 3 (with silence):

A: "We need to talk about what happened."
[Long pause]
B: "I know."
[Pause]
A: "I'm not sure you do."

Shows: Weight of the conversation, both reluctant to engage.

Version 4 (with trailing off):

A: "We need to talk about what..."
B: "I know."
A: "I'm not sure you..."
B: "Then explain it to me."

Shows: A is struggling to articulate; the topic is difficult.

Each version creates different emotional texture with the same basic content.

When to Use Each Tool

Silence:

  • Emotional weight
  • Building tension
  • Processing time
  • Intimacy or discomfort

Interruption:

  • Power dynamics
  • Urgency
  • Emotional overflow
  • Preventing something from being said

Overlap:

  • Chaos/conflict
  • Ensemble reactions
  • Realism in group scenes

Trailing off:

  • Emotion too strong to finish
  • Implicit understanding
  • Nervousness
  • Threat through implication

Filler:

  • Characterization
  • Nervous emotional state
  • Thinking aloud

Strategic deployment is key. Use too much of any, and it loses impact.

The Paradox of Realism

True realism is unreadable.

If you transcribed a real conversation exactly:

  • It would be full of filler, repetition, and tangents
  • Most of it would be boring
  • The structure would be chaotic

What readers experience as “realistic” is actually highly curated:

  • The illusion of natural speech
  • Strategic deployment of realistic elements (pauses, interruptions)
  • Compression that removes the tedious parts

Good dialogue feels real without being real.

The Deeper Purpose

These techniques aren’t just about realism—they’re about:

Silence: What can’t or won’t be said Interruption: Who has power, what can’t wait Overlap: Breakdown of order, escalation Trailing off: What’s too vulnerable to complete Filler: What’s too difficult to say smoothly

Each tool reveals character and emotion indirectly.

And that’s always more powerful than direct statement.

The Bottom Line

Perfect turn-taking is clean, but lifeless.

Real speech is messy—and that messiness is where humanity lives.

Strategic use of:

  • Silence (the power of what’s not said)
  • Interruption (who controls the conversation)
  • Overlap (when order breaks down)
  • Trailing off (what can’t be finished)
  • Filler (the texture of thought)

…creates dialogue that breathes, pulses, and feels alive.

Your characters aren’t delivering speeches.

They’re human beings communicating—imperfectly, urgently, emotionally.

Let your dialogue reflect that.

Further Reading in This Series

Next in the series: Said is Not Dead - the case against fancy dialogue tags and why “said” is your friend.