In the 1730s, Benjamin Franklin had a problem: a powerful rival in the Pennsylvania legislature hated him.
This wasn’t just political disagreement. The man actively opposed Franklin, spread rumors, and worked to undermine him. Franklin needed this rival’s support, but direct persuasion had failed.
So Franklin tried something counterintuitive. Instead of doing the man a favor or trying to win him over with charm, Franklin asked his rival for a favor.
He heard the man owned a rare book. Franklin wrote him a polite letter asking if he could borrow it for a few days.
The rival, flattered by the request, sent the book.
Franklin read it, returned it promptly with a warm thank-you note.
And something strange happened.
The rival who had hated Franklin now spoke to him civilly. Eventually, they became friends. The man who had opposed Franklin became one of his most reliable allies.
Franklin wrote: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged.”
In other words: People like you MORE after doing you a favor, not less.
The Experiment
Psychologist Jon Jecker tested this in 1969 with a clever experiment.
Participants competed for prize money by answering questions. Afterward:
Group A: Researcher asked if they could return some money (favor for researcher) Group B: Secretary asked if they could return money (favor for department) Group C: No one asked them to return money (control)
Then participants rated how much they liked the researcher.
Results:
- Group A (favor for researcher): Highest liking
- Group C (control): Moderate liking
- Group B (favor for department): Lowest liking
The people who did a personal favor for the researcher liked him most, even though they had to give back money they’d just won.
What Is the Ben Franklin Effect?
The Ben Franklin Effect is a cognitive bias where doing someone a favor makes you like them more, not less.
It contradicts common sense. We assume:
- “I do favors for people I like”
- “If I like you, then I help you”
But the Ben Franklin Effect reverses this:
- “I helped them, so I must like them”
- “If I help you, then I like you”
Your brain justifies past behavior by changing your feelings.
Modern Examples
1. IKEA Effect (Related Phenomenon)
- You build IKEA furniture yourself (effort/favor to IKEA)
- Result: You value that furniture more than pre-built
- You like the product more because you invested effort
2. Hazing in Fraternities/Military
- Painful initiation rituals
- Logic: “I suffered to join, so this must be worth it”
- Result: Stronger commitment than groups with easy entry
3. Workplace Mentorship
- Senior dev helps junior by explaining code
- Result: Senior becomes invested in junior’s success
- The act of helping creates connection
4. Customer Support
- Customer teaches support rep how they use the product
- Customer feels heard, invested
- Result: Higher loyalty than passive assistance
Why It Happens
The Ben Franklin Effect works through cognitive dissonance—the discomfort of holding contradictory beliefs.
When you do someone a favor, your brain has a conflict:
Dissonance: “I helped this person… but I don’t like them?”
Your brain has two options:
- “I’m irrational and help people I dislike” (threatens self-image)
- “I must like them, that’s why I helped” (preserves self-image)
Your brain chooses option 2.
You unconsciously adjust your feelings to match your actions. The favor becomes evidence of liking, not the result of it.
Additional factors:
- Self-perception theory: We infer our feelings from our behavior
- Commitment: Small favors lead to larger ones (foot-in-the-door)
- Reciprocity: Once you help, they feel indebted, creating positive cycle
In Software Engineering
The Ben Franklin Effect appears throughout tech:
Open Source Contributions
Scenario: Contributor fixes bug in your project
Result: They become invested in project's success
They'll contribute more, defend it, promote it
Why: They've invested effort, so it must be worth it
Code Review Requests
Instead of: "Here's my PR" (passive)
Try: "Could you review this? I value your expertise on X"
Result: Reviewer more invested in your success
Mentorship Programs
Junior dev asks senior: "Can you help me understand this?"
Senior explains, invests time
Result: Senior now cares about junior's growth
Asking for help created the bond
Technical Interviews
Candidate asks interviewer: "How would you approach this?"
Interviewer explains their thinking
Result: Interviewer now invested in candidate succeeding
Stakeholder Buy-In
PM says: "I need your input on this feature"
Stakeholder contributes ideas
Result: Stakeholder owns the feature now
Their ideas → their investment
How to Use the Ben Franklin Effect
1. Ask for Small, Specific Favors
Don’t ask for huge commitments. Start small.
- ✅ “Could you recommend a book on distributed systems?”
- ❌ “Can you mentor me for 6 months?”
2. Make It Personal
The favor should be for you, not a faceless entity.
- ✅ “Could you review my code? I respect your opinion”
- ❌ “The team needs someone to review this”
3. Acknowledge Their Expertise
People like doing favors that showcase their skills.
"I saw your talk on Kubernetes. Could you explain
how you approached [specific thing]?"
4. Express Genuine Gratitude
Franklin didn’t just take the book. He thanked his rival warmly.
Not: "Thanks"
But: "Your feedback on the architecture was incredibly
helpful. The observer pattern suggestion solved
the coupling issue perfectly."
5. Create Small Commitment Chains
One small favor makes the next easier.
1. "Can I ask a quick question?" (30 seconds)
2. "Could you review this one function?" (5 minutes)
3. "Would you review the PR?" (15 minutes)
4. "Can I pick your brain on the architecture?" (30 minutes)
6. Don’t Exploit It
This works because it’s genuine interaction, not manipulation.
If you’re faking interest or using people, it’ll backfire.
The Counterintuitive Reverse
The Ben Franklin Effect also works in reverse:
When someone does YOU a favor, you like THEM more.
Why? Cognitive dissonance again:
- “They helped me… they must be a good person”
This is why:
- Salespeople give free samples
- Companies offer free trials
- Open source projects are “free”
The “favor” creates obligation and affection.
The Dark Side
The Ben Franklin Effect can be weaponized:
Manipulative Tactics
- “Love bombing” in cults (members do constant favors)
- Abusive relationships (“I’ve invested so much, I can’t leave”)
- MLM schemes (“I recruited people, so it must be legit”)
Sunk Cost Fallacy
- “I’ve put so much effort into this bad project”
- “I’ve helped this person so much, they must be worth it”
The line between genuine connection and manipulation is intent.
Also watch for power dynamics:
- Junior devs asked to constantly help senior (exploitation)
- Women asked to do “office housework” (emotional labor)
- Interns doing “favors” that are really their job
The Deeper Lesson
The Ben Franklin Effect reveals how our brains work backward.
We think: Feelings → Actions Reality: Actions → Feelings
You don’t help people because you like them. You like people because you help them.
This means you can create positive relationships through action, not just feel them.
It also means you’re rationalizing more than you realize. Your brain is constantly rewriting your feelings to match your behavior.
The Programmer’s Perspective
As engineers, we love logic. We assume:
- I feel X, therefore I do Y
- My emotions are rational responses to reality
But the Ben Franklin Effect proves otherwise.
Your feelings follow your actions. Which means:
You can debug your relationships like you debug code.
Not working well with someone? Do them a small favor. Ask them for a small favor. Create positive cycles.
Want to build a better team? Don’t wait to “feel motivated.” Take the action. The feelings follow.
Want someone to invest in your project? Ask for their input. Once they’ve contributed, they’re invested.
You can’t directly change how you feel. But you can change what you do. And the feelings will follow.
Key Takeaways
- ✅ Doing favors makes you like people MORE
- ✅ Cognitive dissonance drives the effect
- ✅ Ask for small, personal, specific favors
- ✅ Express genuine gratitude
- ✅ Actions create feelings, not the other way around
Benjamin Franklin’s rival sent him a book. That small favor changed everything.
Not because the book was special. But because the rival’s brain couldn’t reconcile “I helped Franklin” with “I hate Franklin.”
So the hatred went away.
The next time you want someone to like you, don’t do them a favor.
Ask them for one.
Just make sure you thank them like Franklin did.
Because the favor might be small, but the cognitive dissonance is powerful.
And your brain will always choose to feel good about itself.